So I put my faith in something unknown.

First day of summer school. Ran 3 miles without my inhaler. Rested in my car. Syllabus, rules, and group work. Went to Ian’s. Took a nap while the boyfriend and his cousins played Black ops. Dropped him off at his sister’s house for a family gathering. Couldn’t come cause my dad was bugging on me to type something for him. Came home & realized I forgot to pick up my jacket from Thuy and her phone is off. Time to do loads of English homework. As my English teacher says in class, “Summer sucks”. -_-

The term ‘cancer’ always makes me uneasy whether it’s severe or not. I’m glad you’re home though, I have faith in your recovery. Gotta visit you asap with everyone else! Good thing you only live couple houses down from Kevin’s.

I hate finding shit out through facebook. I’m kinda butthurt I wasn’t invited. So much for being your “girl bestfriend”. I know that time passes and things change, but fuck. You told me months ago the shower would be in July and that I was gonna be a godmother when it happens. Now, I’m doubting all of it. Good luck to your new life and first daughter. I hope you the best.

I’ll yell at you. I’ll get jealous. I’m stubborn. I over think. I get insecure. My moods are like a roller coaster. I’ll probably never listen to you, and I’ll never do anything right. But I promise you, that if I give you my heart it’s yours. Keep it. I’ll be loyal. I’ll be here when you need me. I’ll love you to the greatest extent I can. I’ll treat you right and I’ll do anything I can to hold our relationship together.

Gotta admit, I’m not proud of the ways I’ve acted including back then and sometimes now. I was a naive little girl who thought I was ready for the world. I was really just setting myself for more mistakes, the inevitable truth, and with everything I tried to avoid still ended up happening. I know it’s all in the past to stay cause I can’t change it, but it just sucks knowing I once made those selfish and not thought out choices.